Ups, downs

Where does democracy go to die? Why, it heads for West University Place. Residents of the upper-crust inner-loop mini city are supposed to vote for their new mayor and city council in May, but there’s a problem — not a single race is contested. Then again, what’s there to contest when City Hall’s biggest problem is the line for brunch at Tiny’s No. 5?

Energy politics makes for strange bedfellows — or at least seatmates. Energy Secretary Rick Perry said at CERAWeek that he’d be open to meeting with socialist wunderkind U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and talking about her Green New Deal plan. Our former governor may have swallowed a bit of a coal-flavored Kool-Aid when he joined the Trump administration, but let’s not forget how he supported the CREZ lines that deliver wind energy from West Texas. Take the meeting, AOC!

Ted Cruz also joined the bipartisanship train this week. The Texas senator tweeted his agreement with U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren that Facebook has too much power. The political unity was sparked when the social media company removed the Massachusetts senator’s posts calling for the mega-sized tech company to be broken up into smaller competitors. Thoughts? Please share them. Our Houston Chronicle Opinion Face-book page is the perfect place.

Horns down to news that the University of Texas was involved in a nationwide scandal of celebrities, CEOs and other ultra-rich trying to bribe their kids’ way into elite schools and also the University of Southern California. Maybe it’s time to admit that not everyone is cut out for college. Did these millionaires ever consider a career in welding for their kids?

Talk about your fish tales. An angler in Wood County, east of Dallas, is facing fraud charges for altering the size of his bass haul during a tournament at the McDonald Big Bass Splash on Lake Fork, according to Texas Parks & Wildlife. Apparently fraud at afreshwater fishing tournament is a third-degree felony in Texas, punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Lying is wrong, but somebody let this aquatic crook off the hook. There are bigger fish to fry.

Still, even fishing fraud looks like a big catch next to the haul Fort Bend Constable Office, Precinct 3, bragged about on Twitter: “a grinder and 2 glass pipes“ confiscated during a traffic stop. This minnow-sized drug bust should have Texans wondering: What are constables offices for and why do we still have them?